Every Subaru Stereotype, Ranked by Accuracy

Every Subaru Stereotype, Ranked by Accuracy

 

Subarus aren’t just cars. They’re rolling personality quizzes. Buy one, and suddenly strangers think they know your entire life story. The scary part? They’re usually right.

Here’s a definitive ranking of Subaru stereotypes — light roasting, heavy accuracy.


🚬 WRX Owners — Vape Clouds & Rally Dreams

Stereotype: Street racer energy. Monster Energy can in the cup holder. Coilovers that cost more than the car’s resale value. The phrase “bro, it’s basically a rally car” has been uttered more times than “hello.”

Reality Check: Painfully accurate. WRX drivers are keeping Subaru’s motorsport heritage alive — just with more vape smoke than Subaru’s WRC team ever expected.

Accuracy Score: 9/10
(Minus one point because not every WRX has an obnoxious muffler… but most do.)


🐕 Forester Owners — Dog Moms & Trailheads

Stereotype: Two golden retrievers in the back, a yoga mat on the seat, and a Subaru bumper sticker that says “Rescue. Adopt. Repeat.” The official car of people who own more reusable grocery bags than shoes.

Reality Check: 99% true. Subaru literally ran ads with dogs driving Foresters. That wasn’t marketing — that was a documentary. If you see a Forester at a trailhead, assume at least one wet Labrador will jump out.

Accuracy Score: 9.9/10
(Docked 0.1 points for the rare Forester owner who bought it just for Costco runs.)


🏔 Outback Owners — The Vermont Starter Pack

Stereotype: Flannel shirt, craft beer growler rolling around in the back, skis on the roof year-round (even in July). Lives somewhere with more maple syrup than people.

Reality Check: If you drive through Vermont, it’s 50/50 odds whether the car passing you is an Outback or… another Outback. But it’s not just Vermont — Oregon, Washington, and basically any place where Patagonia is considered formal wear are also Outback territory.

Accuracy Score: 10/10
(This isn’t a stereotype. This is census data.)


🎒 Crosstrek Owners — REI Loyalty Card Holders

Stereotype: Camp stove in the trunk, hammock in the glovebox, and a playlist called “Acoustic Mornings.” Drives straight from Whole Foods to trailheads. Considers the Crosstrek a personality trait.

Reality Check: Also true. The Crosstrek is basically an Impreza that went on a gap year to find itself. And people love it. REI should honestly bundle a free membership with every purchase.

Accuracy Score: 9.5/10
(Half a point off because a surprising number of Crosstreks are owned by suburban parents who just like the color orange.)


🏁 Bonus Round: The Subaru Baja — Chaos on Wheels

Stereotype: The owner wanted a truck, a car, and a conversation starter all at once. Probably owns Crocs. Definitely tells strangers “yeah, it’s rare.”

Reality Check: Every Baja owner is either the coolest person you know… or completely unhinged. No in-between.

Accuracy Score: ∞/10


Final Thoughts

Every Subaru stereotype comes with a grain of truth. That’s what makes them fun. Whether it’s vape clouds, trailhead dog hair, Vermont ski racks, or Crosstrek camping gear — Subaru isn’t just a brand, it’s a lifestyle.

And honestly? We wouldn’t have it any other way.


 

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